Achievement   An event that causes the achiever to believe in his own immortality. A temporary condition.

Afterlife  Procrastination’s imaginary friend.

Al dente  Italian for not done yet.

Allusion   Acknowledged plagiarism.

American   One who pretends that excrement does not exist then spends an entire evening watching it on television.

American Dream   Trivial pursuit.

Anerobics   A system of physical conditioning occurring
without the luxury of oxygen, as in a vacuum tube,
as in outer space.

Anesthetics   A branch of philosophy occurring outside the concerns for the nature of beauty, art, and taste, as in American business, art, and cuisine.

Artist   One who talks about doing art.

Astrology   The belief that although weather patterns cannot
be predicted a week ahead, emotional states of humans as influenced by the stars, can.